You Said What?

accusations-blog-e1510342093934.jpgWhen I was about eight or nine years old, some family friends visited us. The son was a few years older than I – he might have about 12 or 13. We were playing, and then he asked me to go into the bathroom so we could play some more. When we got there, he proceeded to pull down his pants and attempted to get his penis into my vagina. I was totally confused about what was happening, and more than a little scared.

We heard my mom calling for us, and he told me that he would go out of the bathroom first and then I should follow after and pretend as if nothing happened. I did.

I didn’t tell my mom. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell anyone until I told Vaughn. I can’t remember if we were married or not at the time I told him, but I would have been about 27 or 28 at the time.

Why don’t women tell when men abuse or attempt to abuse them sexually? I posit that when the event happens, we turn back into scared, confused little girls. What’s going on? What is he doing? Why? I didn’t ask him to do this.

I am tired of the questions about why women didn’t tell. Unless you have been raped, groped or forced to do something of a sexual nature against your will, your right to question what a woman who was, chose to do, is limited. Please stop.


word count:  247

I’ve lots more to say on this and related topics (what if she’s lying?  what will i teach my sons?  does an accusation mean guilty?), but I’ve reached my 250-word limit for the day.  🙂  More later.


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