I am reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah and am loving it. However, I just got annoyed. (Small spoiler here, but won’t ruin the book).
Ifemela has just cut off her hair because her friend advised her to get rid of her relaxer. Ifem isn’t quite sure that she likes her new boy-cut Afro, and so her friend sends her to happilykinkynappy.com* where she can find a supportive community of women who are doing natural hair. This would be wonderful, EXCEPT for the fact that these women are deriding other women who have chosen to keep their hair relaxed.
What??? This is the thing that BUGS me about women. We must ALWAYS be fighting amongst ourselves.
If you want to be natural, it doesn’t mean that the relaxed sister next to you thinks she wants to be white, or is less black than you. If you are able to breastfeed, it doesn’t mean the mom with the formula on the plane doesn’t want the best for her child. It most certainly DOESN’T mean that your child will be smarter than hers and conquer the world while hers will end up a juvenile delinquent – stop listening to the madness!!!
Can we affirm and encourage each other for the decisions we make (when they are deliberately thought out – I do understand the dangers of only giving our girls white Barbies to play with)? Can we stop demeaning others who have chosen a path different to ours? Can we???
*not a real site
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So happilykinkynappy.com is not a real site. I checked.
I heard about this book on NPR; is it what my daughter would call “realistic fiction?”
It’s probably not “right” to relax the hair of a girl under age 10, but man, would it make life easy!
As for gender infighting, it’s true: Men rarely do that. We do it vicariously though the sports teams we root for.
I didn’t think anyone would actually check out happilykinkynappy! Lol. Just updated the blog to indicate it’s not real. The “vicious” pro-natural women would flame you for saying that having to deal with your daughter’s natural hair “is not easy” – watch it. 🙂
Noo. It was funny without the disclaimer. It tricked ppl like me to go looking for it. lol. I’m pro-natural..when they have to do their own hair.:)